When a Yes becomes a No and the power to change your mind...
Okay, so your partner has brought up this one thing they really would like to try.
It's not something you had ever really shown interest in, or would have brought it up but here it is...
What do you?
After some consideration and some willingness to open yourself up to new experiences, and because we are assuming that you and your partner have a respectful relationship...
You decide that you're okay with the new thing and give it a try.
In the beginning you can notice how happy and appreciative your partner is. They are so grateful and have that first time fuck excitement in their eyes:
a little of uncertainty, a pinch of thrill, a holy shit I can't believe we're doing this type of look twinkling in their eye.
You like seeing that look. Heck YOU even have that look because we all know how sex can become repetitive and that new things often bring back that rush we find intoxicating.
So this new thing becomes something that they want to do ALL the time...
Because you were cool with it and because you enjoyed it, it has now become the new "norm" or your sex routine.
Problem is, it ain't a routine you want.
It no longer has that initial thrill or maybe even excites you the way you thought it would or the novelty of seeing your partner hyper engrossed in this one thing has now caused some triggers to be activated: insecurities, doubts or maybe...resentment.
Maybe you've been given enough time to know that this new thing doesn't vibe with your values...
What do you do now!?
You never expected things to turn out like this after the initial Yes.
Well friend, you have two choices:
1- you say nothing and continue to perform an act of something that isn't doing it for you
2- you take your courage with both hands and lay out the truth...
Here comes the conversation that will be an uncomfortable one if you haven't been exercising your communication skills
"Baby, I love you. I enjoy pleasing you. I really was happy to try this new thing, but it just isn't doing it for me anymore. I'd really like us to explore this thing you enjoy from time to time, but not ALL the time..."
Here is the thing that TickleTrunkClub preaches from the get-go
COMMUNICATION IS CRUCIAL TO A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP!
The thing is...
You ALWAYS have the right to change your mind!
This part is what scares people from trying new things.
The fear of feeling obligated to perform or repeat a sexual experience that was not enjoyable or no longer does it for us
The fear of experiencing something new to find out that you don't like it and your spouse does.
What happens then?
Fear is natural. We are wired to be afraid, but that doesn't mean we should live in that place.
If a new experience comes up in your relationship and as a couple you chose to explore it together, than go for it.
Each couple has its own unique way of functioning.
Remember that whatever works for you now might not work in a week, month or year from now.
The importance here is to remember to check in with your partner.
Re-evaluate your experiences, sexual needs and desires as these WILL change throughout your relationship.
Just as we as individuals change, so do our sexual needs.
Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.
If you're feeling like you want to explore something new, why not get your own trunk here:
If you feel like keeping in touch with us you can always follow us on Facebook & Instagram @tickletrunkclub
We wish you the courage to explore and the strength to address the change of hearts.