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This is one of those questions that the person wants to have the exact directives from A to B and voila, success.

Unfortunately for this answer it is more complex than do A to get To B.

For most women, it takes a build up of a variation of things to “get her to orgasm”

Her emotional, psychological and physical needs, need to be aroused.

I will take the longer route to this climax, in hopes that it will help you succeed in better quality orgasms then from going straight to her clit and rubbing like a maniac…

So lets start here…

A build-up of sexual excitement and anticipation before the initial contact between you and her will increase her excitement and anticipation and will prepare her body to receive what is about to occur with desire.

You can do these things that will help lead you into a more receptive partner

1- if you are not near the person, you can send text messages that detail how this person makes you feel and what you would like to do to her if she was near you.

Be explicit and take your time describing all the ways you would touch her.

“If you were here with me right now, I would taste your mouth with the tip of my tongue, coaxing your mouth to greet my tongue. My hands would grasp your hips and firmly bring them closer to me. The mounting heat of our bodies would ignite the desire that is mounting within our bodies. Your sex would receive the signal of my hard shaft that pulsates for you as I hold your body firm against mine. Radiating my virility for you. I would continue to kiss you with fevered need…”

As you can see this build-up of anticipation before the initial contact has not only shown the woman that you want to please her, but you are being descriptive in how she arouses you and allowing her into your minds fantasies.

Now that is exciting!

2- if you are close and are hanging out together before the evening or intended moment that you will be alone, then you can begin throughout the day to subtle signals that you are aroused by her through different ways

1- non-verbal cues such as: Placing your hand lightly on the nap of her neck and stroking the under of the nap of her hair. gently massaging and turning into her and slowly placing a kiss near the top of her neck, slightly under her ear. linger and then let her do her thing.

Continue throughout out the day with subtle but intentional touching.

Her body will be heightened to receiving your approaches as you have been showing her desire (Don’t be overly pushy) then leave her to want more.

You can use verbal praise and compliments:
“the way you part lips when you are in thought just makes my heart stop a beat.”

“the feel of your skin under my fingers feels like silk.”


Its the build-up that will make the moment of contact that much more exciting

Once you guys are in bed you can try this:
you can take her into your embrace and place her onto the bed

Kiss and taste her body from her mouth, to her ears to the neck. down the collarbone. ensuring that you are paying attention to each part of her body as your lips discover her.
your hands should be guides through this, exploring her gently and firmly.

When you get to her breast don’t just go for the nipples. actually kiss and lick and caress the entire breast.

Head down her stomach, kiss her hips, grab her and raise her pelvis firmly with your hands and kiss the side of her butt as you press your hands firmly on them.

Head down to her inner thighs a nibble and continue to kiss and taste her as though her body was the salvation to your existence. all of these subtle non-verbal cues are telling her that your desire her, that she is what you need.

I guarantee that at this point your woman is wet. and she wants you to go in.


Start by kissing and lapping her vulva with a delicate licking suction motion (just as though you are eating an ice cream and its melting)

Make your mouth wet as you are kissing her.

Let your tongue and mouth explore her anal area ( if you and her are comfortable with this of course, because this could be a trigger for some women.. )

If its not your thing continue to lick and suck on her vulva. (don’t push your tongue down so hard, and don’t make it too delicate this is about showing you need to taste her and with each taste you get to live a little longer type of eating)

Insert a finger or two into her and press and turn as you go in and out.

You can have a steady pace, pushing slightly upwards as your fingers exit.

Go to her clitoris and lick and suck on it as you are fingering her slightly faster but not too fast.

(most women need consistent speed to build-up the excitement)

Continue to finger her, your other hand can be behind her ass holding and squeezing it or you can begin stimulating her clitoris with two wet fingers.

Feel free to spit on her so she stays nice and wet- a dry vulva and clit are not your friend!

You can go up to her and kiss her now with desire and intensity, continue to stimulate her clit by moving either up and down- circles or side to side,

When she raises her pelvis slightly or you see her wanting you or any subtle change , you can then assume she is near

(it takes women longer to climax then most men… just keep in mind this isn’t a race but a dessert that you want to enjoy)

You can then grab your hard cock- and this is the beauty.

Slap the tip of you dick onto her clit!

(not the pelvis bone)

Slap it again and again right on the clit- this will make her come.

When she starts coming don’t stop slapping it. keep going until it stops.

Then my friend, you insert your hard shaft, and watch her moan and beg for more.

This! This is the long answer to ONE way of making her come….

There are many, So don’t be one of those guys that because you made a woman come once without that much effort that you were some sort of an awesome lay…

The intention and build-up. The care and attention you place upon the woman BEFORE intercourse will make you one of her most EXTRAORDINARY FUCKS OF HER LIFE!!

So don't be a sloppy lover.

Hope this was helpful.

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With love,



Photo Credit: Dainis Graveris